I never met Florenz in person, but I always looked forward to her emails. Always kind and encouraging, she offered such great comments and insights. Even over the internet, she could light up my day.
Bathing in Your Brother’s Bathwater
from Southern Comfort
Bathing, Miss De Angelo informed us in health class,
is very important, especially once you become a teenager.
In fact I can smell many of you this very day,
so I advise every one of you girls
to go home and take a good long bath tonight.
I know some of your folks like to skimp on water,
but consider it homework.
Say Miss De Angelo assigned it to you.
But girls, let me warn you.
Never take a bath in the same water as your teenage brother.
Well picture this.
All those tiny bubbles settling on your legs
when you sit in a nice tub of water?
If you could count every itty, bitty bubble,
that would be only a fraction of how many sperm
stream from a single man.
Even if he doesn’t touch himself,
the water does.
And it only takes one.
One fast-moving whip-tailed sperm.
And you know how easy it is to catch a cold,
how quickly that little virus races clear through you.
And once that happens,
no one will believe you’re any Virgin Mary,
no matter what you say.